Need a Date?

Have you ever thought about flying miles away from home just to explore a city and its views, taste their food and enjoy the new place. . . even just for one day . . . all ALONE? I know one who thought about it and made it happen.

A friend of mine had been inviting me to watch a movie we've long been waiting for. But when the theaters were showing it already, I was too busy to go out. Nevertheless, my friend watched it with or without me. He didn't just watch that one movie, but two more. Who went with him instead of me as planned? Himself.

These kinds of people surprise me. How do they do that? It's not about the money they'll be draining watching three movies in a row, nor the amount of the food they'll be spending for. It's the absence of a company. The aloneness.

At first it came unbelievable to me. I've never watched a movie nor dined at a semi-fine restaurant alone, so hearing this kind of habit of having a "date" with yourself comes weird to me. I told one friend that doing it would be impossible for me. He asked me, "You're the dependent kind of person, aren't you?"

Then it hit me. I couldn't stand being alone. I had to ask others' opinions before deciding. Or worse, I had to let them decide for me. I had to have someone with me so I could enjoy more. A company meant so much to me that without it, there'd be no sense in going out to the malls, watching movies, enjoying a nice view. The only thing I loved doing alone was going to Sto. Niño every weekend to light candles and pray and I didn't think I could go any further.

Not until I opened myself into the world of dating with myself. It started with a trip to the theater alone. I had to choose between two of my favorite movie genres: comedy and thriller. They say comedies are better watched with friends so you have some people to laugh with, so I chose the latter. After the movie, I dined at a fast food and ate a sumptuous meal. That started my solitary get-aways. Did I enjoy it? More than I've expected it to be.

And it wasn’t my last.

Being alone and lonely are two different things. We don't have to be with someone just to be happier. You can be alone but happy, right? As they say, if you're looking for a helping hand, there's always one on your arm.

If you think you can’t do it alone, do some soul searching. We’re capable than how we think we are. Sometimes we just need to spend time for ourselves. Do some stuff by yourself and you’ll discover things you never thought you’ve ever had. Who else is going to help you when no one else does?

So, you need a date? You know who to call.

4 comment/s:

Anonymous said...

ahem..tinay?is dat me ur referring to? proud of u, and thanks for making me as a source of ur blogs/essays..^^,
anyways, i love reading ur writings..kip it up..its ur so proud of u..well, u know na its not just me, but also the bcats and all people dat know u..take care!and more power!

The Loveless Guru said...

As I've written before im ny article entitled "alone but unlonely", they are two different matters. i think that you need to be comfortable enough "with" yourself to be "by" yourself. I am comfortable doing things by myself like going to the restaurant and other places. it gives me time to think. I am in a realtionship with myself after all. If ever you feel conscious about going alone, imgaine yourself like carrie brandshaw from sex and the city or samantha. they are confident women who aren't ashamed to be by themselves. who needs a date? when you can date yourself and have fun too. :)

Anonymous said...

it's always good to be alone sometimes. it gives you the opportunity to self-check, evaluate your actions, and propose new challenges to make your life more exciting and achieving. other people tend to interchange "L" for another "L".. that is loser for loner. but hey tinay, i have strolled alone a million times, and in all those strolling times, i have never felt a loser.=)

p.s. suwayan pa na nko ang tan-aw sine ai, dugai na ko na githink. hahaha

your other Tan

Anonymous said...

hi tinay :)
as far as i can recall, i've been doing exactly that (what your friend was doing) for the past two school years. :)) i go to the mall by myself. i watch movies, shop, dine by myself. i have friends but when they're busy, i just willingly do those things by myself. it's not that i want to be solitary and just lock myself up from the world..i just got used to it. i enjoy it, my me-time. i feel like i can do basically anything that i want to do w/o the hassle of others' opinions..haha :)) i guess it's also my way of leaving the 'world' for awhile cause my work in school (orgs) involve lots of people..and i get too stressed that i just want to get away..

PLUS it's my mom's attitude too..she can live by herself if she wants to and i got that attitude ever since i was a kid. and..that's another reason why i only tend to select a handful of friends..i don't really get along with most people or i just don't really care about expanding my social network haha :D

-Noi :3

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