Need a Date?

Have you ever thought about flying miles away from home just to explore a city and its views, taste their food and enjoy the new place. . . even just for one day . . . all ALONE? I know one who thought about it and made it happen.

A friend of mine had been inviting me to watch a movie we've long been waiting for. But when the theaters were showing it already, I was too busy to go out. Nevertheless, my friend watched it with or without me. He didn't just watch that one movie, but two more. Who went with him instead of me as planned? Himself.

These kinds of people surprise me. How do they do that? It's not about the money they'll be draining watching three movies in a row, nor the amount of the food they'll be spending for. It's the absence of a company. The aloneness.

At first it came unbelievable to me. I've never watched a movie nor dined at a semi-fine restaurant alone, so hearing this kind of habit of having a "date" with yourself comes weird to me. I told one friend that doing it would be impossible for me. He asked me, "You're the dependent kind of person, aren't you?"

Then it hit me. I couldn't stand being alone. I had to ask others' opinions before deciding. Or worse, I had to let them decide for me. I had to have someone with me so I could enjoy more. A company meant so much to me that without it, there'd be no sense in going out to the malls, watching movies, enjoying a nice view. The only thing I loved doing alone was going to Sto. Niño every weekend to light candles and pray and I didn't think I could go any further.

Not until I opened myself into the world of dating with myself. It started with a trip to the theater alone. I had to choose between two of my favorite movie genres: comedy and thriller. They say comedies are better watched with friends so you have some people to laugh with, so I chose the latter. After the movie, I dined at a fast food and ate a sumptuous meal. That started my solitary get-aways. Did I enjoy it? More than I've expected it to be.

And it wasn’t my last.

Being alone and lonely are two different things. We don't have to be with someone just to be happier. You can be alone but happy, right? As they say, if you're looking for a helping hand, there's always one on your arm.

If you think you can’t do it alone, do some soul searching. We’re capable than how we think we are. Sometimes we just need to spend time for ourselves. Do some stuff by yourself and you’ll discover things you never thought you’ve ever had. Who else is going to help you when no one else does?

So, you need a date? You know who to call.

Be yourself--not too much

"That's just me. I won't change. Deal with it."

Oh how I hate that line when I comment someone about their bad attitude, habit, whatever.

People sometimes feel too good about themselves that they see change as a bad thing. They'll go saying, "Why don't you just love me for who I am? I'd rather be me than change for you."

First of all, I didn't tell you to change. I was just giving a comment. Oh, did I offend you? That I didn't mean. If there's any comment I would give, I'd want and try to make it constructive. It's up to you to take it that way or otherwise. If you choose the latter, then that's probably why you reply the I'd-rather-be-me line.

Secondly, don't think that by being yourself is all that good. Even I have my own flaws that I don't want to acknowledge as just being myself. We can't please everyone. We know that, don't we?

Don't tell me you've never complained to anyone about their habits or attitude. How would you feel if she'd say she's just being herself? It's not like you're telling her to be somebody else, right? As long as you're telling her to change for the better, then you're on the right track.

I used to be the kind of person who let others decide for myself. Like I didn't have a stand. Until my cousin told me and she seemed really irritated about it, I started to be the opposite--which I find now as better that how I used to be. I know I was being myself back then. I know now too that I am better than who I was before.

Sure, being yourself is good. But please don't be too confident that by doing so, you're doing a good job and it's up to the people to deal with your not so pleasing attitude. If someone comments about you, be thankful and see it as a bridge for a better you. After all, why would they complain if they didn't want a better you?